Song lyrics

Recently, there's a worship song we've sung at church that just impacted my heart to a huge degree!! I think it first spoke to me the Sunday before I left to bring Connor home. I remember walking into the sanctuary that morning, thinking, "This is the very last time that I'll come to church, walk in this building, alone." It was a peaceful & joyful thought, I remember crying SOOOO hard because that day, it was soooo close to leaving to bring my baby boy, Connor, home!! This song is absolutely mind-blowing, awesome!! Then, interestingly enough, we sang it again the Sunday after Connor came home, I stood in church singing the same song I'd sung the week before, tears rolling down my face holding my son - finally.

Everything God has brought me through in this adoption process -- culminated starting that Sunday morning as I sang the words to this song that were so meaningful & personal to my journey to Guatemala to bring my son home. It's a calling that summoned my heart, like a personal call directly from God saying "It's time!" I've told my case worker and talked to my parents about the fact that being a Mother is everything I expected -- it's a challenge, joy, blessing! It's all rolled into one solitary little person that I'm so so so proud to be his MaMa! Yeah, there are days that I want to just pull my hair out, but at the beginning & end of each day I thank God for Connor, because it's times when I hold him, rock him, pray over him, sing over him, play games with him, even telling him No No, Mommy says No... ALL of the times throughout any given day.. is just a blessing, a sacred time for me! I remember thinking to myself many times before Connor came home, "What I wouldn't give for sleepless nights if only my baby could be home with me." HA! Well now that he's home, he's sleeping through the night... it's naptime that I really treasure.. haha.. as does any Mommy of a one year old. It's like "I love you, therefore.. you shall nap." He naps, I do things around the house.. and THEN we can play.

Then I was watching the movie Cheaper By The Dozen, in which, by the way, my favoriate line is "Chill or Be Chilled!" HA! Anyway, there's one spot in the movie toward the end that always chokes me up, gets me sobbing like a baby... where Mark, the red-headed boy, runs away and the entire family goes out together in search of him. It's like there's no hesitation once they all are told Mark's gone! Just the image & thought of it reminds me of the depiction of this very same thing in the Bible wherein the Shepherd drops everything to go find the one lost sheep! And that Jesus is the Good Shepherd, and says, "My sheep know my voice." In moments where one is lost, nothing else matters but to stop everything and go find the one and bring it back. It gets me in this movie, because it reminds me much of my own family -- they would drop everything to help one of us who needs something or needs help with something. I'm so incredibly blessed to have wonderful wonderful parents who pray for & with me, intercess on my behalf and for my son, their grandson. Nothing on this earth can replace a parent in prayer for their children (their herd o' sheep).

Here are the lyrics to the above mentioned song from the 1st paragraph, called To the ends of the Earth by Hillsong:

Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in,
Finding peace again.
Fear is lost in all you are.
And I would give the world
To tell your story.
'Cause I know that you've called me.
I know that you've called me...
I've lost myself for good
Within your promise.
And I wont hide it...
I wont hide it
Jesus, I believe in you
And I would go,
To the ends of the earth
To the ends of the earth
For you, alone are the son of God...
And all the world will see
That you are God...
That you are God...

An Inspiring, Tear-jerking Poem

I read this poem written by another adoptive mother. Here it is (exactly how I feel at this point in the process; Connor has a gift tag on him from God to me):

"Someday-Right Now"

Someday, I will hold you close and feel your breath upon my cheek,

I will gaze into your eyes and marvel at the beauty that God has given me.

Someday, I will hold your hand and run and play,

I will savor the feeling of your touch, for I dreamed about it thousands of times.

Someday, I will simply sit and stare at you.

I will drink in every inch of the wonder of you, the wonder that GOD alone created.

Someday, I will close my eyes and listen, just listen to the sweet sounds of you.

I will thank God for the sounds of His precious children.

Someday, I will hug and kiss you. I will kiss away your tears,

I will taste their bitterness knowing that I will replace them with the sweet, everlasting love I have for you.

Yes, Someday I will smell, touch, see, hear and even taste you,

but for right now I will do what I can- I will pray for you!

For it is true that after I have my "someday",

parents will always return to the "right now" once again.

"Right now" will come again in the blink of an eye when our children grow and leave the nest, and once again I will do what I can--I will pray for you!

Prayer is the single most important thing that we parents can do for our children, and "Right Now' when you feel helpless and maybe you feel you can't do enough for your little one who is so far away, remember that you are fulfilling the most important role of a parent - You are praying for your child- God will handle the rest!

Adoption song!

Written & sung by Catie Curtis, a folk singer and adoptive mother. This song was written toward those who know the experience of waiting during the adoption process. It's an amazing song! Here are the lyrics and you can link here ( http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/magazine/ ) to listen to it, just find where it says "Music for the Wait."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’ve got a place for you

Under the long night moon

And I’ll dream that I’ll see you soon

Goodnight, goodnight

Outside my back window

The oak tree stands alone

Waiting for a blanket of snow

Goodnight, goodnight

All through the winter

I’ll grow colder here with just your memory

But I know that somewhere you are holding on for me

Throughout the atmosphere

God knows I want you here

I can’t fake this holiday cheer

Goodnight, goodnight

All through the winter

I will build my fire in this empty room

But I know you’ll come back when the magnolias bloom

I’ve got a place for you

Under the long night moon

And I’ll dream you’re looking up too

Goodnight, goodnight

goodnight long night moon

WHO I AM!

"The world will tell you who you are until you tell the world."

"Maybe God has a bigger plan than I have for myself."

"Know who you are and do it on purpose."

Connor's newest!

About a week ago, Connor started telling me -- "BOOP! BOOP!" Which means.... DRUMROLL.... POOP!! He tells me after he goes poop, but still.. ya know... he's almost 19 months and I'd say that's pretty good for him! I'm soooo proud of him and always celebrate when he tells me after he goes, "YAY, Connor! Good boy for telling Mommy when you go poopie!" He laughs! He also wants to sit on HIS potty chair when I'm in the bathroom going potty. LOL! He now uses "Babby" interchangeably for BATH and POTTY. hahaha!

Vocabulary

Connor just cracks me up!!! He's at the age where he repeats virtually everything anyone says, so it's just hilarious to here his rendition of whatever words you tell him to say... here are some examples:

I say Shoes or "zapatos" *shoes in Spanish*, he says "DOOS!"
I say BAFFIE (haha.. bath time, you want to take a baffie?"), he says "Babby"
I say Juice, he says "Joo!"
I say Te Amo! (spanish for I Love You), he says "MAMO!" hehehehe
And also, I say Love You, he says "Uh Boo!"
and... Of course the ever infamous toddler word... No! haha

TOO FUNNY!!! And TOO CUTE!!!!!! He's just talking like crazy!! No sentences (not in our English language anyway.. more baby language hehe), but words nonetheless, people... he understands an immense amount of having a conversation with him, simplistic, yes... like there's certain things you KNOW they understand like things they're not supposed to touch, are dangerous... because, HELLO, we repeat it like a dang broken record to them continually throughout any given day and get in trouble for touching things that are dangerous or off-limits. Anyhow... he nods his head yes & No to certain things like "Are you done eating?" and "You want Mooka Mooka (Mommy code for "milk" haha)?" and "Ready for baffie (see above translation)?" He also understands alot of Spanish as well, laughs & giggles when I point to his eyes, nose, hands, feet, legs, belly, etc.... and say them in Spanish.. I'm amazed by him, seriously.

He's my precious little man who I am so blessed with every day! All of the challenges that come with being a single Mommy... it's all nothing when I hold him, give him his bottle, sing to him, rock him, pray over him... yeah, he tests me beyond belief at times, but he's just this wonderful, tough, amazing son of mine who I love more than life itself!!!

Cute little knock

Connor's newest thing : knocking! HAHAHAHA!!! It's soooo funny!! But can be annoying to someone who may be in the shower or intently trying to go #2... HAHAHAHAHA!!! He knocks on the bathroom door continuously at my parents' house because at home, the bathroom door stays open, it's just me & him, so whatever... but at their house, of course, the door goes shut when someone's in there. Well, most people leave the door cracked open.. that is until Connor came home and has always loved running right in on whoever, whenever, during whatever they may be doing. So for privacy sake, most everyone has begun shutting the door all the way there, so now he knocks... Oh my Lord... hahahaha... like I said, FUNNY and cute, but annoying if you're the one being knocked at to "hurry up and open the door so Connor can come in." :D It's cute because he makes his little fist WITH HIS LITTLE THUMB OUT!!!! HAHAHAHA!! I laugh sooo hard!! Although, I quickly realized the gravity of this new act when we were away this weekend and he proceeded to knock on other people's hotel room doors! UH OH!! Now it's not so cute... so teaching plan -- no more knocking on door, Mr. Connor! No No! He also proceeds to walk into any room where the door is left propped open... *sigh* What can I say? He's a curious little 1yr old... but still... No No.... He seriously needs a t-shirt boldly stating, "My Name is No No."