I read this poem written by another adoptive mother. Here it is (exactly how I feel at this point in the process; Connor has a gift tag on him from God to me):
"Someday-Right Now"
Someday, I will hold you close and feel your breath upon my cheek,
I will gaze into your eyes and marvel at the beauty that God has given me.
Someday, I will hold your hand and run and play,
I will savor the feeling of your touch, for I dreamed about it thousands of times.
Someday, I will simply sit and stare at you.
I will drink in every inch of the wonder of you, the wonder that GOD alone created.
Someday, I will close my eyes and listen, just listen to the sweet sounds of you.
I will thank God for the sounds of His precious children.
Someday, I will hug and kiss you. I will kiss away your tears,
I will taste their bitterness knowing that I will replace them with the sweet, everlasting love I have for you.
Yes, Someday I will smell, touch, see, hear and even taste you,
but for right now I will do what I can- I will pray for you!
For it is true that after I have my "someday",
parents will always return to the "right now" once again.
"Right now" will come again in the blink of an eye when our children grow and leave the nest, and once again I will do what I can--I will pray for you!
Prayer is the single most important thing that we parents can do for our children, and "Right Now' when you feel helpless and maybe you feel you can't do enough for your little one who is so far away, remember that you are fulfilling the most important role of a parent - You are praying for your child- God will handle the rest!
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