Starting back to work soon :(

Today my charge nurse called to verify the date I would be starting back to work after my time off with Connor It all just hit me after I hung up with her and Connor was running around playing... I got sad and really & honestly... IT SUCKS!!! November 25th is my 1st day back to work and BLAHHHH!!! DANG!!!!! I know there's nothing I can do about it and it'll be fine... I just dread it! I do love my job, but now this job as MOMMY is much nicer and wonderful and... I've thought back on the past 9 weeks or so... and even beyond the tears, frustrations, challenges, adjustment, sleep issues, baby tantrums... that all fades away and here am sitting here in tears, thinking about how absolutely blessed I am to be Mommy to this precious precious boy and that those moments are so small in comparison to everything God has in store for the future! I picked Connor up and just hugged & kissed him... not like I'm dying or something, but it feels odd... just awful... on some level, I've thought that it'd be nice to get back to work, to feel a little bit of normalcy for myself since my life has changed so drastically frmo being single woman to single mother. But now I really realize that this is my normalcy now, being a mother. It'll be an adjustment to go back to work, for him & I both... I still pray that something different will open up as far as a different position/job because I'm so over the management where I am... and well... okay, I'm done talking about this... bottom line is that I'll GREATLY miss my Connor when I go back to work... I talked with him this morning about it... said, "Mommy has to go back to work soon and I'm sad, but while I'm at work you'll be with Abuelita and Abuelito and Tia and Primo Gavin... " He smiled and nodded Yes... said "Yeah yeah" He's my little pumpkin pie, sweet boy!!! *SIGH*